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Fakebook

Dear Co-worker, Facebook is my escape from the mundane, BS, going nowhere fast stench of our workplace. Yes, though we absolutely do not speak, I confirmed you as "a friend", but let's be honest, did I really want to do that? *Cue privacy settings.
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Case of the Mondays…

Case of the Mondays…

Today I’m having a case of the Mondays. It’s raining and a majority of my day has been consumed with Law & Order. I’ve also eaten a pint of Java Chip ice cream. I’m having a  SAD day. The kind of day where you cry for no reason and realize the majority of the world is incredibly happy. It doesn’t help that my ex-boyfriend (the one who dumped me while I lay dying) got married on Saturday. WOE. IS. ME.

I know, I know I’m embarking on a lifetime of self – discovery, yada, yada, yada…BUT TODAY I wouldn’t mind if one of my ex’s would experience some sort of you can’t live without me flashback.

Instead they’re getting married OR explicitly sharing via Facebook how fulfilling their new single lives are. Fuck you. The truth is I'm happier too...I'd simply like to avoid your new-found joyful life. Plus, Facebook is the devil.

Now, according to my meditation doctrine I should not dwell in anger or cling to these negative emotions. I should LET GO – and for the most part that’s what I’m doing. Well, except for today. I’m going to keep listening to sad songs on repeat and read Atlas Shrugged. (Slowly, I’m hoping rational selfishness will seep into my self-conscious.)

Alas, Ayn said it best: Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness.

I'm fighting all right. Tooth and nail,

Glo

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MY OFFICE SHOULD B IN A SOAP OPERA

I hate this job, but I'm grateful to have one. The people that I work with I think were put here for pure comedy. I've had two different supervisors in the past eight months. The supervisor that I have now, does not kno her job. She was just working in the Library in the Archives. So how does that qualify you to be a manager or a supervisor. She has a crush on the my original supervisor, who is totally in love with me. Before she became my supervisor, which I think was her ploy all along to get me away from him, she used to get upset or find ways to come into the house when were having a meeting. Always acted like it was important. I had a feeling that she liked him or they were seeing each other when I started working there. She always had an attitude when she saw us talking. I used to ask the original Supervisor were they seeing each other because they way asks towards you and around you, say that you have dipped your cookies in that milk. He kept denying it, saying that she just had a crush on him and he didn't know why she acted the way she did. Still skeptical, I left it alone for a while. We had a reception at our job in November, I had to go to my original supervisor office for something. As I approached his doorway, what did I see. The two of them embracing and kissing. When they saw/heard me they tried to separate and act like they were jus talking, but the the origianl supervisor had lipstick on his lips. Busted. So I ride him about it everyday. Now my new supervisor has a pet. Her little pet is always snitching and running and telling everything she see and hear. We are not allowed to wear jeans to work, so the other day the pet comes in in jeans. So I bought it to my supervisors's attention because she was complaining about how high my heels were. She got mad because I bought it up that I had to have a meeting with her and the higher ups about me complaining. I said why am I in this meeting because you want us to follow the policy and procedures of the handbook, and the handbook clearly states that no jeans are to be worn. So if you want us to follow the rules make sure they apply to everyone and not just certain people in the office or don't make rules at all.
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Employee of the month

I spend a majority of my 8 – hour work day tweeting and refreshing my Facebook page. When my supervisor enters my office I minimize my “personal” screen and display an uncompleted excel spreadsheet from last year. Today I was awarded employee of the month.
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Facebook Status

My office mistress finally decided to end our relationship…via her Facebook status.
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