I Hate My 9 to 5

Dear Globot,

The person in the cubicle next to me goes to the gym daily at 1 p.m.; precisely an hour later he returns to his desk smelling like an onion farm. The stench makes it impossible to work.

Believe when I tell you, HE SMELLS HORRIBLE. I really don’t get it... our company gym has a shower. What should I do to eliminate the offense odor?

Silently Suffering

Aww, man that reeks! I had a co-worker with terrible halitosis; even an accidental slip of his gawd awful breathe was torture. His name was Jim and he was the uber-friendly office grandpa. He survived Vietnam. Who was I to tell him that he breathe stank. Now, you’re situation is a tad different. Anyone going to the gym in the middle of the office day should KNOW that it’s common courtesy to shower after you work out. Or at the very least spray yourself with AXE.

Telling someone bluntly that they smell is personal. It causes that person embarrassment and psychological disadvantage, and honestly it’s rude. Passing the problem to someone else is also not the way to go, because their handling of the situation could be equally heavy handed.

Now, the question is would you rather be confrontational or covert?

Here are 3 ways to deal with your smelly neighbor:

• Option #1: Walk over to his cubicle (soap in hand) and say “I would appreciate if you took a shower after you use the gym. Often when you return there is an odor.

• Option #2: Leave an anonymous note in his cubicle (don’t forget the soap). Placing a bar of soap on their desk may be considered insulting…but your options are limited.

• Option #3: Consider getting senior management involved to address office etiquette. At this point it’s an health issue and fucking distraction.

Seriously, all your options suck – you either being a tattletale, insult your colleague or continue gagging from the disgusting stench. Stop suffering and simply tell him the truth.

Now get back to Work,

Globot